Day 27 No Contact. FML
Today is hard. Really hard. I want to crawl into a hole and hide for a few months kind of hard. Two days ago I was happy. I doing fine. Yesterday it hit me like a ton of bricks. I thought this was supposed to get easier. I thought no contact was supposed to heal me. Why am I getting worse? Why can’t I move on and accept that he doesn’t want to talk to me? Today I almost texted him. I stared at my phone and put it down 50 times. What is the point? Why do I feel this need? He doesn’t care enough to reach out after everything I have done, everything I have said. I loved him so much. I was my very best for him. Was too desperate? Did I try too hard? Is he incapable of loving someone who is actually good for him? I don’t want to walk away. I don’t want to give up. Giving up means he loses another person. He cuts people out so easily. War changed him and he is capable of not caring. But I am capable of loving him through it. Is that what he needs? Why is this my probl